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RAW May 13th 2013: Extreme Rules Go Home Show

Raw Is Dance Off: Well with a PPV this weekend WWE kicked off this weeks RAW with a DANCE OFF. No Brock Lesnar, HHH, Cena or Ryback to kick off the show but FANDANGO and Jericho dancing. Jericho went through his past success is WWE variety segments like WWE Musical Chairs which was awesome because of Ric Flair and his win on The Price is Raw in 2009. So music came on and FANDANGO did not move so he got booed. FANDANGO needs silence to perform his masterpiece. They started to dance and his dance partner fell down wow what a start here. Jerichos partnet went to check on the other female dancer and FANDANGO attacked Jericho from behind. After FANDANGO beat up Jericho it was revealled Summer Rae whom is FANDANGOS dancer faked her injury wow what nerve. I feel ripped off to not see Jericho dance.

The Ryback Kills Zak Ryder: As every week goes by im still amazed Zak Ryder has a job in WWE and somehow still gets on RAW. Well Ryback killed him with the shellshock.

The Return of The Prime Time Players: Remember when Titus and Darren were on RAW all the time well THEY ARE BACK. They pinned the two fat fucks so WELCOME BACK PTP.

World Title Announceent From Your Friend Teddy Long Playa. So Basically Teddy called the match off because of the concussion to Ziggler which is legit and he did suffer short term amnesia. Zeb and Swagger came and DEMAND Ziggler be stripped of the belt well. Big E and AJ came out and AJ implored Teddy to fire Swagger I guess for his DUI issues and stuff. Teddy made a #1 contenders match between Swagger and Del Rio which would now be an I QUIT MATCH dun dun dunnn. Teddy then announced either Big E against Del Rio or Swagger which gives us our WWE APP vote for the week. Also Why isn’t Booker T doing this shit HE IS THE GM.

The WWE APP The New Way To Watch Television what BS.

Kingston vs Sandow: Kofi won with the Trouble In Paradise. Eh I really have nothing to say about this. WWE clearly has no intention to do anything with Rhodes or Sandow and Kofi is stil stuck in the spot hes been in since 2009.

Henry Calls Out Sheamus: They aired highlights from Eddie and JBL in 04 from their bullrope match and it baffled me and then it was announced that their PPV would be a strap match. WHY NOT SHOW FOOTAGE OF A STRAP MATCH. Josh tried to interview Henry but Henry DEMANDED Josh put the strap on as Henry put the other end on. Henry gave us a run down of a strap match because WWE has only done it twice from memory once in 1996 and once in 2009. Henry demanded Sheamus come out and took a strap of his own and got in the ring he then whipped Henry.

GET THE APP TO SEE INTERVIEWS.

Another FUCKING Cesaro/Orton Match: 3rd match in the last week and what do you know we got the same fucking outcome. Im over this. Orton just fuck off and Cesaro deserves a lot better than to job to that overrated cunt.

The Miz and Cody will be in the pre-match for the PPV on Yahoo.

The Miz vs Slater: Miz won with the figure four.

Roman Reigns and Rollins will take on Hell No for the tag titles in a tornado tag match at the PPV. This has to be, has to be the end of this hell no bullshit.

The Shield vs Hell No and Cena: This was an elimination match

1st Elimination: Kane via DQ after attacking Ambrose with the announcers table.

2nd Elimination: Ambrose pinned Bryan after a Bulldog DDT.

3rd Elimination: Rollins with Eliminated after Superman gave him the AA

4th Elimination: Reigns was DQed after spearing Cena while he was not the legal man.

5th Elimination: Ambrose was DQed after Reigns and Rollins came back to beat up Cena.

So they more or less protected The Shield without killing them to Cena. Ryback then came out and Stood over Cena and then left. but came back again and killed Cenas ankle with a chair. Only for Cena to wrestle with a supposed injured ankle to make a huge comeback at the PPV and win.

Swagger vs Big E: Swagger won via count out they are still protecting Langston for his face turn. Swagger won the poll 65/35. Del Rio attacked Swagger after the match

This Weeks Diva Mess: So we had The Bellas,The Midget and Khali at ringside. Kaitlyin got another gift and by the way THERE WAS A MATCH GOING ON. AJ beat Nattie by Submission.

Backstage Jericho was plugging a match with FANDANGO

Big Show and Orton will be on The Highlight Reel With Jericho

HHH and Lesnar In A Cage: Hunter came out and got in the ring as the cage lowered. Hunter said he feels at home around the steel which probably is true seeing from all the Cell matches he was in. Hunter challenged Brock to come out and fight now. Brock and Heyman came out as Heyman went to talk he was cut off by Hunter. Brock wanted to charge at Hunter but Heyman held him back. Heyman cut the same promo he cut in the lead to Mania basically saying Hunter will disappoint his family and that hes a loser. Heyman said Brock doesn;t fight for free which is funny seeing Brock gets paid quite a bit for these appearances on RAW. Hunter said he doesn’t want Brock to face him now because he doesn’t want Brock to loose again. Hunter directed to Lesnar saying do you want to do what Heyman says and be a bitch which really pissed off Brock who then stormed to the ring. The refs tried to hold him back but Brock was an animal and got into the ring. They faced off and then brawled. Hunter threw Lesnar out the ring. This was great way to build the match on Sunday.

Overall this was meh. Aside from the final segment they didn’t seem to do much for the PPV. They basically confirmed that Ziggler isn’t ready to wrestle on the show.

 

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