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RAW May 6th 2013

RAW began with video of Heyman and Lesnar showing up at WWE HQ and I thought hmmm This will be fun. The video also recapped the major angles from last week.

Cena Still Never Quits: So Cena came out and said hes working through an Achilles injury. Cena then basically called Ryback gay so were off to a great start. Vickie came out with The Ryback so Cena mocked The Ryback. I love how we are back to Cena just making fun of his opponents. But Cena did let The Ryback chose the stipulation for their match. Ryback pick Last Man Standing.

Randy Orton Still Never Looses And Is Still A Cunt: The Highlight of this was Sandow doing a parody of Ortons song. Then we had the same typical bullshit ive complained about all year. Orton beat Sandow again god knows how many times its been this year. Really Orton just put some of these young guys over you selfish cunt.

Dance Off: Jericho came out with The Two Fat Fucks who would be his judges. Yeah A guy who when he moves just jiggles and a guy who still has Asian writing on his face what great dance judges. So Fandango came out with the old dancer.

Fandango and Turth then had a match but FANDANGO didn’t give a shit and left so Truth won by countout. I guess Truth can only beat Barrett.

Backstage: Bryan challenged The Ryback to a rematch which Ryback rejected. Kane showed up and Ryback backed off Bryan.

Ziggler vs Del Rio: They had a long match which went back and forth. So Del Rio had Ziggler in the armbreaker but AJ jumped on the ropes to distract the ref so Langston could pull Del Rio off of Ziggler and threw him out to Swagger who was at ringside. The Ref gave the DQ win to Del Rio. Swagger then got a ladder and beat up Dolph, Del Rio and Ricardo and then left.

THE RYBACK VS THE KANE was made

WWE aired a promo for their new deal with Yahoo which is basically just like the youtube stuff from last year.

Boring Diva Shit: So Kaitlyin was with the two dancing whores and wanted to know who here secret guy was. Nattie came in with Khali and said Khali can go undercover to find out. Yeah why not send a giant man who can’t speak english to do stuff.

The Shield Still Rule: Shield beat Kofi and THE FUCKING USO TWINS who still have jobs apparently.

Cesaro WON A MATCH: Cesaro came out with a beret so I guess the yodeling is over or at least I hope it is. Cesaro beat Zak Ryder who amazingly has not left WWE. Cesaro claimed he put the W in WWE. I don’t know if he meant World or Wrestling but I assume he means World. He also said no one in WWE holds a candle to him besides Kofi who beat him for the title and all the top guys cos they beat him every week.

Paul Heyman and Brock Lesnar at WWE HQ: So Heyman and Lesnar walked through WWE HQ or for classic fans Titan Tower. Heyman said it was a poor work environment and that no one was happy. From stories ive heard few people aren’t happy. They passed the 2013 Rumble poster with The Rock and Brock stared at it which is a wink/wink to next years planned Mania main event. They ended up at Hunters office. I have no idea if this was his legit office or not. Hell id loved if they trashed Stephs office to. They trashed everything using a sledgehammer which was on the desk like HHH is gonna keep his sledgehammer on his desk. So Heyman sold the cage match cos this was meant to be live but it wasn’t. HHH cut of Paul and said DX did this stuff better. Yeah im sure I never saw DX trash an office. HHH called them cowards for going to WWE HQ when they knew Hunter would be at RAW. Hunter finished by saying the Ring was his office.  Fuck this was awesome I love Paul Heyman and Brock Lesnar.

Lame 6 Woman Tag: Kaitlyn speared AJ.

Sheamus and Henry Have A Heart To Heart: They both had words with each other. Basically they are having a match at the PPV.

Barrett LOOSES AGAIN: Sheamus beat him with the kick. Henry tried to get involved but he got the kick as well. After he recovered Henry destroyed Sheamus with a belt and then hit the WSS on Sheamus.

FANDANGO and Y2J IN A DANCE OFF NEXT WEEK BE SURE TO WATCH.

THE RYBACK VS THE KANE: This went for a while but RYBACK hit KANE with the SHELLSHOCK for the pin. The Shield came out but Bryan ran out to side with Ryback but he bailed leaving only Bryan but not for long as SUPERMAN I mean Cena came to his aide. Shield went to enter the ring but Ryback came back with a chair and ran off the Shield. But then Ryback used it on Cena.

Thoghts. The Highlight was Heyman and Lesnar. Once again it felt like everything was just there and nothing else really mattered.

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