RAW began with Zeb Coulter and Big E Langston in the ring with Ricardo coming out with Del Rio. Apparently we are having a Triple Threat between managers so the winner can pick the stip for the triple threat match at the PPV.
Dutch Mantel Wrestles On Raw in 2013: Well Ricardo won cos hes the only face in this thing. But fuck that Dutch Mantel is wrestling on RAW in 2013 thats a holy shit moment. Cole tried to put Ricardo winning as a huge advantage to Del Rio.
John Cena IS NEVER TURNING HEEL: They showed video of Cena on the Today Show for World Wish Day. Cena then granted a kids wish on the show. After the video Cena came out with 3 Make A Wish Kids and no one booed this. I think having the kids with him made people no boo. Cena told us to donate to Make A Wish and introduced us to the kids who are honorary WWE Superstars and they gave themselves nicknames and Lawler got a little teared up.
Randy Orton was walking backstage in his fucking wrestling trunks
Cody Rhodes Still Cant Beat Randy Orton: Remember when these two guys were in legacy well I do. Anyway these two had a really good match. I remember when they had their feud in 2011 and they were having some really good matches on Smackdown. Once again my issue with this is that Orton still wins these fucking matches when he doesn’t need to.
Striker interviewed Orton after the match. Striker asked Orton if he had been haunted by Big Show knocking him out at Mania to which Orton responded that he has never been more motivated than he is now. Cody tried to sneak attack Orton but Orton hit the RKO.
The Bellas were backstage bragging about the new E Show
A Whore vs A Whore: One Of the bellas won don’t ask me which cos I have no fucking idea which is which. I guess they swapped cos the Dancing Whore who can’t wrestle complained and they gave a DQ win for Naomi. I did not care for this one bit.
3MB Attack The Shield For Some Reason: So Shield came out and ran down their history in WWE and shows how well someone can be booked in this company. 3MB came out and attcked the Shield but as you may know it didn’t go well and The Shield attacked them. Hell No came out and ran the Shield off. Hell No beat up 3MB.
The Ryback And Cena: Ryback went to Cenas dressing room. Basically Ryback said Cena wasn’t ready to take on the Shield
Dolph vs Kofi 9 Million: WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY ARE WE SEEING THIS AGAIN, FUCK. Anyway Ziggler won but FUCK THIS FUCKING MATCH FUCK IT TO HELL
So Team Ziggler were walking backstage and ran into Kaitlyn yeah remember her and Nattie hey remember when she was pushed. Basically this was done so AJ and Kaitlyn could argue.
Video Recap On Hunter/Lesnar
Team Brickie returned. The Ryback went to their office and tried to get out of the match with Cena. Vickie changed it to Ryback and Hell No vs The Shield. Wat why are they putting the heel Ryback and teaming him with faces. Anyway Ryback left
Zak Ryder Is Giving A Damn Again: Zak is tanned again and is getting his hair long again. But Swagger won with the patriot act
WWE Active: THE RYBACK “SCREW YOU GUYS IM HOME”
Tug Of War: Yeah Im Dead Serious. Mark Henry easily beat Tensai and then Brodus cos they got nothing on THE WSM. Shemaus came out and he just gave up so Henry fell on his ass and thats funny. Shemaus gave him the brouge kick
Kane and Bryan have no issues with facing the shield 2-3. Vickie gave Brad one mission for tonight but she whispered it so we don’t know.
Maddox ran into Cena. Cena called him Braden Walker for those who know who he is. Cena said he’d team with Hell No to take on The Shield so I guess he aint injured at all then.
Del Rio vs Cesaro: Del Rio won what a shock right.
A FUCKING DANCE OFF: Well How Do We Top Tug Of War well GREAT KHALI DANCING: So Khali danced with Nattie and god I feel so sorry for her having to do Comedy and not wrestle and im serious when I say that. FANDANGO and His Woman danced and the crowd cheered. The crowd chose the winner via appluase and for some reason KHALI WON which makes no sense at all but here we are. FANDANGO hit the flatliner on KHALI.
Cena and Hell No vs The Shied; The Shield remain unbeaten so I don’t why people bother even challenging them to matches. Cena had a lot of tape around his ankle to protect his injured achillies which Cole refered to. Cena went for the AA on Rollins but he couldn’t cos of the ankle. Reigns hit the spear and got the pin. So lesson here is that Cena will do jobs to get guys over while Randy Orton kills any up and coming guys cos hes a cunt.
Overall: Lame show this week. DANCE OFF AND TUG OF WAR do not need to be on RAW.