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RAW April 1st 2013: The Road To WrestleMania Ends

wwe_raw_2012_hq_logo_download_freeWe begin with a video package highlighting the return of HBK. We couldn’t have WrestleMania without Mr WrestleMania now could we. Also JBL returned from his latest mountain climb to announce the show with Cole and Lawler.

Cena Sucks: So Cena came out to make the final sell for the match this Sunday. He compared him and Rock to Democrats and Rebuplicans and how half the fans hate him. Yeah we get it John over 75% of the fans fucking hate you just get over it cos its been this way for 7 years. Cena said the childish games are over and he is going for the WWE Title once again. Thats really all he said and well it was another bad Cena promo.

3MB Still Can’t Win: So we are getting this match yet again. 3MB hit some offense on Orton and Sheamus but that ended with Big Show came in. Show knocked out Jinder Mahal with the Knockout Punch. Shield then came out and cut a promo from the crow. Ambrose told the 3 faces to enjoy their win tonight cos they wont win on Sunday. Yeah enjoy the win you’ve gotten the last 3 weeks over some jobbers.

Zeb and Swagger: So Seeing we are in Washington tonight Zeb and Swagger were at the Captial Building. They went on about breaking the spirit of those who ruin the American Dream and they don’t mean Dusty Rhodes.

Del Rio Reacts: Del Rio recated to this backstage at the arena by saying he will respond to Swagger in anyway fashion he wants at Mania.

Dolph Won Another Match: So Dolph and Bryan had a really good match. Dolph won with a schoolboy after interference from Langston and AJ so it paid off for Ziggler this week. After the match Ziggler and Langston posed with the tag belts.

The Return of HBK; Shawn Michaels returned and I marked out hard for this. Shawn was concerned about Hunter putting his carer on the line. Hunter came out and Cole mentioned this could be the last time we see HHH prepare for a match and I just laughed. HHH said they had been through this when Shawn put his carer on the line 3 years ago against Undertaker you know the last time they did this and when it worked. Shawn told HHH that Undertaker respected Shawn while Brock respects no one and likes to hurt people. Shawn then said to Hunter that he better kick Brocks ass. Why wasn’t there a mention of Shawn’s arm getting broke last summer. So they hugged as they announced Shawn would be in Hunters corner at Mania. Im so glad they went with Shawn and not Stephanie McMahon in Hunters corner.

Brocks music hit. Brock stormed to the ring but was stopped by Heyman. Heyman said that Brock will beat HHH into retirement this Sunday. Heyman said Hunter better get used to being a disapointment to his Father In Law, His Best Friend and most important HIS WIFE. He then concluded by saying that unlike Shawn who walked away Hunter wont be able to walk away breathing but crawling away a broken man. My god this was awesome and made me wanna see this match.

Ryder gets Squashed. So Barrett pinned Ryder with the elbow. You now know why Zak Ryder is pissed about WWE. Miz was on commentary say he was getting to Barretts head.

Santino Is Dead: Mark Henry killed Santino with the Worlds Strongest Slam. Ryback came out and the two faced off. The two couldn’t touch until Sunday because of a No Touch Clause in the match contract. Henry went to leave as Ryback picked up Santino and rammed him into Henry to knock Henry off of the apron.

We leanred that Undertaker would verbally Eviscerate CM Punk later on tonight.

Backstage: Punk said he is trying to get into Undertakers head and doesn’t care if hes disrespecting the memory of Paul Bearer. He said Pauls streak of waking up every morning is over and that this is a bad omen for Taker.

Dutch Mantell Wrestles On Raw: Del Rio won by DQ is a nothing match. Swagger was stalking Ricardo on the outside of the ring. Swagger got Ricardos crutch to Zeb who used it on Del RIo. Zeb and Swagger then bashed Ricardo and Del Rio.

The Rock Has Come Back To Washington: So Rock started off by saying he would run for President. He then went on about Cena running his mouth and how he just stands tall during all of Cenas mouth running. Cole sold this huge by saying its a battle of 2 superstars. An Overconfident Rock and a Man Who Must Win In John Cena.

Jericho vs Cesaro: This was a great match if you didn’t notice from all the dancing talk from our announcers. FANDANGO came out. FANDANGO was using scorecards to score all of Jerichos move just like a dancing contest I guess. Jericho Knocked FANDANGO over which nearly gave Cesaro the win but Jericho hit the Walls Of Jericho to get the win. I know I usually complain about Cesaro loosing but this was such a good match I can’t really complain. Working with Jericho in a good match should give Cesaro a good enough Rub.

FANDANGO jumped Jericho after the match. The Crowd Chanted “You Can’t Wrestle”. FANDANGO hit two top rope leg drops to Jericho.

More Hype for Taker.

The Whores vs The Whores: So Bella whores beat Dancing Whores. Who In The World Gives A Fuck About Either of These women.

UNDERTAKER SPEAKS: So Taker said that this Sunday the streak may well end. But CM Punk will never live to talk about it. So If Punk Wins Undertaker plans to kill this man. So Lights went out and all the druids all came and we hear the Yes!!! of Paul Bearer. Then Paul Heyman came out dressed as Paul Bearer. Then the lights came on and I Bet a lot of people are gonna be pissed about this. Not much in wrestling offends me but this whole using Paul Bearers death to build this match is really just bullshit. One of the Druids jumped Undertaker and of course it was CM Punk. Punk poured the contents of the urn onto Undertaker as RAW ended.

Thoughts: They did a great job this week building all of their Mania matches. A lot of the RAWS this year have felt week and just dragged on for way to long. This week they needed to hit a home run and they did for all their major matches. The main talking point of this show will be Heyman dressed up as Bearer. If you listen to any wrestling audio shows that cover RAW this will be the main talking point. Overall a great go home show.


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