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WWE Raw March 19th 2013: Rufus Pancakes In The House

 Rufus Pancakes Is Here: So Raw started off with Cena coming out. He did the usual Cena BS thanking the Cenation for sticking with him through hard times cos hes totally had a bunch of them. He went on about how last year he made the mistake of promising a victory over the Rock but this year he is coming in focused so I guess that means he can win. So of everyone on the roster The Prime time Players came out with Titus O’Neil dressed in a leather jacket and an Afro. O’Neal was Rufus “Pancake” Patterson who is the uncle of Darren Young. The Players claimed they put the E in WWE. No one cared for these two at all so Titus said the fans came to see them and not Cena. They then said while Cena is on the box of Fruity Pebbles that Young should be on Cocoa Pebbles. I guess this meaning Cena is fruity and Yong is African American Get it. So Cena being the heroic babyface challenged them to a match 

Cena vs Black Cena: I remember these guys I wrestled once in 2010 and it was pretty bad. Well this was short and Cena won with the AA. This is was a very random start to the show.

The Ryback vs. David “I saved WWE Films” Otunga: So Ryback won with ease as you would expect. So after the match Ryback said he Orton and Sheamus would tear the Shield up at WrestleMania. Henry came out but before he could do anything Vickie and Teddy came out. Why is Teddy coming out for this cos he has no power on Raw and is just Bookers bitch on Smackdown. Anyway Vickie removed Ryback out of the 6 man tag and put him in a match with Henry at Mania. Ryback responded by giving Otunga another Shellshock.

No One Can Still Say His Name: So Fandango was set to take on Khali tonight which just sounds like an awful match. So This week Fandango wanted Natalya to pronounce his name. She began to but told Khali to attack him well thank god she didn’t fart. Well cos Khali can barely move Fandango got out 5 minutes before Khali got to him.

R-Truth vs Damien Sandow:So after a few minutes Truth his the scissors kick and Sandow just left cos he didn’t wanna be pinned by a geek.

So Cody was backstage with The Bellas who I guess are back full time which is just awful. Kaitlyn showed up telling Cody she had a thing later so they couldn’t hang. The Bellas said no one cares which is true. Kaitlyn then said that The Bellas had mustaches and left.

The Deadman Speaks: So Punk apparently sealed his fate with his actions last week and this is personal. Punk only has one chance to save his soul and that is to return the urn. Punk came on the screen and did the Paul Bearer voice. Punk through the urn away and Taker looked sad. Punk admitted that at Mania that Undertaker is the best in the world.

Team Hell No vs The Colons: Well this was predictable like every match on this show. Hell No won but during the match AJ came out and did that fucking skip around the ring which irritates me to no end god I hate this woman so much. Despite this Hell No still won. Oh and I still hate Team Hell No to.

So Jericho was backstage with Fandango. Fandango said his nae and then Jericho tried to say it. But Jericho did this in a mocking way. Fandango said Jericho will soon learn how to say his name. Oh and this is the set up for their match at Mania. A year ago Jericho was facing Punk for the WWE title This year is facing a man who was in nXt for all of last year.

Cody looses again: Yeah Cody lost to Del Rio again what a shock. Del Rio has a remixed version of his theme meh. After the match Swagger and Del Rio brawled with Del Rio getting the upper hand. Del Rio stalked Zeb Coulter but Swagger made the save. Swagger told Del Rio to never lay a hand on Coulter. Swagger finished Del Rio off by throwing him over the announce table. Swagger locked the Patriot Act on Ricardo. This crowd was really into Swagger which is not good.

Back from Break: Cole Informed us that Swagger had broken Ricardos ankle.

Booker T was revealed to be going into the Hall Of Fame.

3MB Still Suck: Orton and Sheamus had the handicap and still won. Orton won with the RKO over Slater. I have no issues with Orton beating geeks like this cos they have no chance to be legit main event guys like Cesaro and Ziggler. After the match The Shield came out. Orton and Sheamus were begging the Shield to come in the ring. Big Show came out. The Shield left with Big Show in the ring pointing at the Mania logo. I take it that Show is gonna be in this match and that he is once again a babyface.

Ziggler/Kingston 1 Million: If this was UFC this feud would be killing PPV buyrates. This is no Liddel/Coutre. Ziggler won with assistance from AJ so at least shes giving him wins now and not losses. This is 3 in a row for Ziggler. Maybe he can go for 23 in a row like The Miami Heat. So after the match Hell No came out and Kane wanted to know what Langston could do in the ring. I take it Kane does not watch nXt cos hes not good. Hell No challenged Langston and ZIggler to a tag match. Langston was all in and Ziggler wanted no part of this bullshit. So AJ accepted the match and wants the tag titles on the line. Here is a new Mania match. Why would Ziggler want this if he has a has a world title match whenever he wants it.

They aired that Rock/Cena video cos once again no Rock and somewhere a bunch of smarks are crying hes WWE Champion.

IC title 3 way: Barrett retained: I really was looking forward to a Jericho/Barrett match at Mania bu no I have to watch Fandango instead. Cole said there was a big fight feel for this. No a big fight feel was on Saturday at the Bell Center with GSP and Diaz not this bullshit. Im glad Barrett pinned that joke Miz.

TOUT TIME: Oh god these are great. I love all these people who record these and are probably dead serious in what they say. I guess that Girl is gonna be a regular cos they showed her last time they aired touts.

Contract Signing CARER ON THE LINE: HHH came out then Heyman. Heyman had security guards with him but no Lesnar. HHH wanted to sign but Heyman stalled. Rather than allowing HHH to sign he re-aired The Brock/HHH brawl from a few weeks back. After the video Heyman ran down the stipulations that wont be involved in this match. One of these being the winner getting Stephanie McMahon. I really would of liked to of seen how that one would of gone. The mention of Stephanie by a heel just angers HHH these days. Heyman said that wouldn’t work and it should be the Loser gets Stephanie which makes sense cos HHH would loose the match. HHH needs to control his anger cos after this he grabbed Heyman. But luckily Heyman had his security guards but that didn’t help cos Hunter aint selling for no indy workers so he beat them up. Hunter then put Heyman on the table and slapped him around. So HHH who is now a management guy in WWE should of learned how to read contracts cos he just signed this thing without reading. So HHH slapped Heyman again. Brock came out with a chair. HHH got his sledgehammer which was placed under the table. So Brock was walking around the ring but Heyman wouldn’t alow him to enter. Heyman left the ring and they made their way up the ramp. So about them stips. Heyman and Brock announced the stip. A No Holds Bared Match with Hunters carer on the line. The crowd did not care for this reaction. I guess cos they know HHH is winning cos hes HHH and who should care.

Overall this was a weird show. The Cena stuff was weird. They made some mid card matches for Mania but who really cares about seeing Jericho/Fandango and another shitty Team Hell No tag match.


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